Saturday, 26 January 2013

Dating in Kuwait: Easier Done Than Said - Part I - A His & Hers Perspective

Well, I know that it has been a while since I have posted but after spending Christmas at home in Canada, I was lacking inspiration to write.

I am finding it difficult to transition my blog from being about all NEW experiences to being about every day life in Kuwait. I guess I am scared to lose the funny-deer-in-the-headlights angle.

I know there are many 'new experiences' that I have yet to encounter, however they are becoming fewer and farther between.

In the meantime, I am giving you some juicy details about my dating life in Kuwait.

The Spark of Interest.

A few weeks into the semester a new teacher arrived late to school. My principal told me to swing by and make sure he was settling into the teacher's apartments and to extend the proverbial olive branch of friendship.

Dutifully, as the nice person I am, I enlisted the American accompany me to head over to welcome him to our small cluster of friends - but really to see if he was worthy of joining our circle aka a fine piece of ass.

He answered the door with a confused look on his face - possibly wondering who the hell these girls were - but after we introduced ourselves and rudely invited ourselves in, he was quick with the smiles and easy with the chatter.

The conversation started flowing between Brontosaurus Legs and I. I could feel the intensity of his stare throughout the conversation and slow warmth of a blush creeping up my neck as we talked. I soon noticed that Brontosaurus Legs and I were deep in conversation while the American just looked on...I tried to include her but he kept  pulling me into his one-on-one.

Upon leaving his apartment the American commented "Well, I may as well NOT have been there. Girl, he had eyes only for you."

While he captured my attention, I didn't really think too much about him after we left.

It started with a Sunset.

A couple days later Brontosaurus Legs asked if I would go for a walk down to the beach with him. I wasn't sure if it qualified as a date or not. BUT as the American informed me if a guy asks you to hang out mono y mono AND walk down to the beach it definitely qualifies as a date. So I put some nice clothes on and did my girl thang and was looking good.

We moseyed slowly (well his version of slow - I had to pick up the pace to keep up with his LONG legs, seriously how do legs even get that long?) towards the beach, stopping to take pictures of interesting signage and landmarks along the way. [Seriously, could I be more of a tourist?] Yea, I know how cliche.

The conversation really flowed between the two of us. I soon discovered that he was very intelligent  and we truly had a lot in common regarding educational and personal beliefs. I think I learned more about him in those couple hours than I know about some of my life long friends - he is open, honest and super easy to talk to. The walk turned into coffee which turned into a movie at my place late. Oh hush, I know what you are thinking  -  all we did was kiss.

The Dance of Indecision  

When it comes to relationships I am what you could equate with a deer in the forest: move to quickly and I will scamper off through the trees. Brontosaurus Legs was cool with this and we danced around what could have been a relationship for a few months.

I ran hot and cold while battling my inner monologue of yes - no - maybe -I don't know. Things are never simple and yet when I was around him everything seemed easy.

By this point our group of friends had grown to a solid five and I was trying not to make things awkward. So we continued to hang out but not really move past the friends-not-really-just-friends barrier.

I was in my 'no - maybe' phase when he professed his true feelings towards another friend at a gathering. We are girls: yesssss she told me. 

Brontosaurus Legs was acting very rudely towards myself and others. How can a guy who is SOO incredibly nice and cool when act like SUCH a tool? The highlight of the night was when he accidentally punched me in the face. He was gesturing at something or to someone, and his gangly arm - long arms + off balance = punch to the lip and BAM right in the kisser. Needless to say I was less than impressed. Royally pissed off is more like it.

Part II comes somewhere in here.

Yes, I was mad. But, he was not himself. I got over it after a couple of days and we resumed our polka eventually.

A few more incidences happened along the way, but he shared something with me about himself that brought some light to the situation. Or in other words explained his doucheness. Everything sort of came together for me then. It didn't scare me away, though his running-wasted-around-Fahaheel nearly cave me a myocardial infarction. Yes, I watch Grey's-so-I-Think-I'm-a-doctor.

I decided that my indescision wasn't fair to him. It had been two months or so of hot-cold-yes-no-maybe-so and I figured if I wasn't sure at this point then I had no right to hold him on the line.

Like a royal douche I texted him and told him. Bad me - It was a conversation that should have been had in person. BUT, I was scared that if we talked about it in person that I would get sucked into his baby blue eyes and loose my resolve.

So, there is my dating adventure number one from my perspective. Brontosaurus Legs and I remain very good friends and he has graciously asked to guest blog about how he felt during our time together!

Dating sucks.

Salam alecomb. Welcome to the first guest blog on The Writer’sblog site.  This is the man known asBrontosaurus for some strange reason, and I am not The Writer.

 First, I have to saythat I am nowhere close to the writer that she is, so being prepared. She is agreat writer, and I may not even be able to make coherent sentences sometimes.I hate writing. I really do. I will survive this one time to serve as acounterpoint to what The Writer is writing about. I am sure she will do anhonest and objective account of life in Kuwait, but this will be a lot of funto do. So let’s talk about dating and romance and all that fun in the desertsun. 

I moved to Kuwait in the middle of September because Ineeded a change from what I was doing in the states and because I always wantedto travel and do cool stuff. The third day was when The Writer and the Americancame over to say hello to me. It was so weird having other white people to talkto. The Writer was/is smart, funny, and wicked cool and I immediately thoughtshe was interesting.  The American was onher phone the entire time and was boring. I don’t really “like” girls and if Ido, I have to be able to have a conversation with them. It sounds kind ofdouche to say that but I don’t find many girls interesting and easy to talk to.

So the next(?) day, I asked if she would like to go for awalk. We got along great, and since The Writer will probably read this, I won’tsay anything nice about her. She doesn’t need a big ego. After that we kind ofstarted this strange back and forth thing where we wouldn’t actually go ondates but we would still be interested in each other. I was so flippingconfused here, because I have always been of the mindset that if you likesomeone and they like you back then fuck it, and it’ll work out, but The Writerdidn’t really know what she wanted. As in if she wanted a friend or somethingelse. We never did anything more than kiss because she wanted to go slow, and Irespected that( I actually did too but I never told her that) I was veryconfused cause I liked her a lot but we never went over that weird more thanfriends but not dating jump thing. I am sure I wasn’t as clear as I should havebeen too by the way.

Ok so here is where things got decided for sure, becausethere was a thing that I did that was pretty stupid. It’s kind of hard tounderstand and really hard for me to talk about but yay internet fake anonymity  Before I say what happened, I kind of have to mention somethingabout me that I don’t like to talk about. I have a “mental illness” and it affectseverything I do in my life. I put it in quotes because I hate calling it that,(its an illness, makes it sound like the fucking flu) and because it doesn’tmatter what the actual term for it is. I don’t tell people because I get tworeactions, they get scared about me which is a terrible feeling, or they feelbad for me which is even worse.

So that part about me sucks, because of all the fun thingsthat have made my life interesting from hallucinating my dead mom talking to meto sending myself to the hospital more times than I would like to admit. (Morethan 0 is bad just so you know) I have good days and bad days but I’ve beengood about taking my pills for it though and have not had an episode in over 4years. I still get depressive episodes and that kind of stuff but I’ll takethat over the other stuff. The problem is that the stuff I got to take for itis rough on my body with all of the side effects. Haldol in particular. So alot of the time, I feel either numb or nauseous. I’ve been taking it for 15+years so vie gotten used to it, which is weird. Certain activities make me feel normal and better about myself.

Ok so I met the people at a party ato celebrateAmerican’s birthday. It was at some guys apartment but its Kuwait sowhat are you going to do. Any who The Writer mentioned something to me that wascode for she wanted to go over that more than friends, jump thing. I was reallyhappy and excited -  but was feeling a little numb. I turned into a complete asshole out of myself. What happenedwas instead of spending the night with someone I cared about, I got upset, got depressed, decided I wanted to be alone suddenly while I was in a car, andran away from my friends around 3 in the morning around the neighborhood. I wandered, miraculously not getting arrested and lost everything I had onme, apartment keys included. So I turned up at The Writer’s apartment and sleptfor a bit and then ashamedly went off. The Writer was very rightly mad at meand disappointed in me. I felt and still feel incredibly bad about making myfriends get worried about me. That is my most hated thing about it. I got tospend the rest of the day in the stairwell of my building waiting for alocksmith to let me in. I got to stew about what a jackass I was. Shortlyafter, I got a text from her saying that she didn’t want to lose me as a friendand didn’t want to go out with me. Can’t blame her in the slightest either isthe thing. I was an incredible dick to the people I care about.

So that is my story of what happened in my “romance” in thedesert, if you can call it that. That happened about 2-3 monthsago and I feel better about myself. I pushed myself more into my work and I amreally proud about what I have accomplished with my students. Some days cansuck more than others, but I am doing better. Still love Kuwait and I’m makingbetter decisions.

Hope you enjoyed our 'dating'(?) misadventure.


  1. First and foremost, I really enjoyed this post and liked the fact both of you shared your sides of the story. However, alcohol, intoxication, drugs, etc... all illegal in Kuwait. Yes, yes, I know it's available all over the place, and many people do drink, but you may want to consider keeping that part of Kuwait life 'on the down low'. Just my advice :) Oh, and the drinking/driving/public intoxication -- duuuude, are you trying to end up in jail? Oh my, I could tell you horror stories of Westerners who are STILL in jail here in Kuwait for similar things after YEARS.

    Now that I've come across as an uptight, obtuse, stick in the mud (I'm not, really!), I think you two should consider this dating thing once again. It's obvious you're both interested in one another on some level. She cares about the friendship... a lot! Otherwise she would have cut things off after blackout night. And he clearly cares to the point of feeling insecure about caring. Stop the back and forth hesitation and jump in head first :)

    Finding a man who enjoys your conversation and a walk on the beach is quite rare. And finding a woman who not only still speaks to you after a night of binge drinking but also let you sleep at her apartment is a gem!

    I'm really hoping to see this relationship develop :)

    1. I was thinking the same thing as I was posting - but it was such an integral part of the story I decided to keep it. However, as I do not want to get in trouble or get anyone in trouble so I edited those parts to be less obvious.

      Thanks for the advice AG - we are in a really good place with our friendship right now so I dont know if I am ready to rock the boat.

      I will keep you posted though =).